In this reunion speech I wrote with a friend, the student body president of her class, I like to think I do Peggy Noonan one better, swapping "a thousand points of light" for "You'll recall, of course, that I used to be man."
Good evening, class of 1989. I'd like to thank everyone for coming tonight. It's great to see such a strong turnout. I hope you're all enjoying yourselves.
I'm Jenny, your class president. You may not recognize me. I've had a little of that elective surgery that's become so popular in the 10 years since we've all seen each other. You'll recall, of course, that I used to be a man.
Looking out over this crowd, it looks as though a few of us have gone through some changes. When you think about it, we've seen a lot come and go in the past decade.
"Saturday Night Live" still sucks, and Bill Cosby, Ted Danson and Michael J. Fox are still on television. But, in music, pop and punk gave way to rap, arena rock rose and fell, grunge came and went – leaving us, now, with Ricky Martin. Oh, for the days when la vida loca was a snack you'd pick up at Del Taco on Arrow Highway after English class.
George Michael – gay! While the boys from Duran Duran turned out to be straight. Who knew? And did you see this Starbucks thing coming? Now I can't live without my decaf vanilla latte every morning.
Andre Agassi and Bruce Willis lost their hair, while Elton John found some. Prince Charles is dating again. And we may soon have another George Bush in the White House.
We declared war on Iraq and dropped bombs on Kosovo. But our long-standing war on drugs has yet to be decided. Most of the narcotics confiscated over the years are being stockpiled right here, in San Dimas, I understand. You know who you are.
So, I was hoping to do a whole multi-media presentation covering what's happened in thh world in the last decade: domestic and foreign politics; the ravages of war; increased sex and violence on television; our growing fascination with technology.
However, due to a lack of funds and planning, I'll simply hand the microphone over, now, to Shelley and Tricia, and let you reflect on these issues on your own time.
And again, thanks to everyone for coming. Shelley and Tricia are going to give away some prizes. Please note that, after they're done, it's your obligation to dance with wild abandon to carefully selected music meant to bring back the memories of your youth.
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